


Heather⭐️

by heyidkyay



Series: Larry Stylinson Oneshots [17]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Direction One Shot, Pining Harry Styles, Songfic, bandmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyidkyay/pseuds/heyidkyay
Summary: "I wish I were Heather."He couldn't bring himself to play much more, silent sobs fell from his lips as he hung his head against the wood of the guitar, praying, wishing, crying out for a change.Everything hurt. All he felt was pain. A gut wrenching ache that clawed its way out of his throat, spluttering and sobbing into the empty room. He hated himself for loving someone so unobtainable- someone so blind to his constant suffering- for falling so deeply for the boy he called his best friend.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Larry Stylinson Oneshots [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749181
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	Heather⭐️

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Conon Gray's Heather<3

The studio was an escape. Always had been. The low lights settled around him mellowing the entire atmosphere, it was quiet and peaceful, nothing but his faint hums and the slow picking of chords to be heard.

He wasn't sure of the exact time as he fiddled with the leather bound notebook that rested on his knee, but he knew he had been at it for a good couple hours so he could only guess that the sun would be rising soon enough. That sudden thought reminded him of the day prior, of everything that had led him to lock himself away in the small studio, just him and his guitar. Hot tears burned the rims of his waterline as they threatened to fall once more, he sniffed sadly before raising the backs of his hands to quickly wipe them away. Recently, it felt like crying was all he ever did.

He huffed out a large breath of air as he willed himself to focus back on the task at hand- he was almost done. There wasn't much point in writing, it would just be another song added to an already long enough list that no one else would hear, but it gave him some sense of comfort. If he didn't write about the devastating heartbreak he had to face each time he opened his eyes, then he'd probably become the most pathetic excuse for a human being, wallowing in his own misery and self hatred as he watched the love of his life fall completely in love with someone else.

He clutched at the neck of the instrument in his hands, letting his head fall forward slightly as he shook himself out of his own thoughts- thoughts of coffee coloured hair and ocean blue eyes.

Gently he played a tune, slowly strumming the same chords that had been on repeat all night, echoing out into the space, his soft voice joining them only moments later.

"I still remember third of December,"

It had been a Friday, a week before the night of the X Factor finals, when he had finally realised just how far he had fallen. It hadn't even been that long since but it truly felt like a lifetime ago now, sat in that tiny studio.

"Me in your sweater, you said it looked better, on me, than it did you,"

It had been the sweetest shade of red, knitted but so soft. He couldn't stop the small smile that graced his lips at the faint memory, the way it had practically hung off his torso and fell far past the tips of his fingers, but still, the older lad had worn the fondest of looks, one that had since engraved itself inside his mind.

"Only if you knew,"

He let his eyes slip close at that line, huffing out a light breath, fingers trembling as they moved across the cold metal strings.

"How much I liked you, but I watch your eyes as she walks by,"

A warm wet tear slipped, caressing the softness of his stained cheek as it travelled quickly, only to drop from the cut of his jaw onto the hard wood of the guitar, leaving the sound of a small patter in its wake. Still, he continued.

"What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than the blue sky,"

He had tried so hard to pull away, to make things easier on himself but nothing had ever worked, the older lad had a way of pulling him in like no other. The tender smiles they shared, the long late night talks, the innocent touches that drove him mad. He just had to stand by and watch, a bystander to a love story he wished could be his own.

"She's got you mesmerised, while I die,"

Slowly breaking every time he caught sight the couples happy smiles, the way their fingers interlocked so easily, how they just fit. Two halves of a whole.

"Why would you ever kiss me?"

He whispered the words ever so quietly, the sound hardly registering as he thought back to the vivid memories that often clouded his mind. Soft supple lips, light feathered breaths, blissful ignorance. The pain of it all when it was over far too quickly, only to then be ignored.

"I'm not even half as pretty,"

Knowing he could never compete with her beauty. Her love.

"You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester,"

Choking out the words as more tears cascaded down his face, falling freely as his voice resonated around the room. Pictures of them, the nicknames they shared, the way they could be open and free; he was jealous. Jealous of what they shared, of the love he ached for.

"But you like her better,"

She was his everything. Probably the first thing he thought of when he woke up and the last thing before he fell fast asleep. To him, she would always shine brighter than the stars, feel warmer than the scorching sun, and prettier than the moon that sat peacefully up in the skies above.

" _I wish I were Heather_."

He couldn't bring himself to play much more, silent sobs fell from his lips as he hung his head against the wood of the guitar, praying, wishing, crying out for a change. One that wouldn't cause his heart to shatter. His shoulders trembled, unable to stop himself.

Everything hurt. All he felt was pain. A gut wrenching ache that clawed its way out of his throat, spluttering and sobbing into the empty room. He didn't know what else he could do, it just hurt so much, more than anyone could even imagine. He almost always felt sick, wanting to escape from everything that reminded him of the heartbreaking reality. He hated himself for loving someone so unobtainable- someone so blind to his constant suffering- for falling so deeply for the boy he called his best friend.

He was shivering, not from the cold chill that had crawled into the room, but from the broken cries that seemed never ending. He was so lost in his own head, his own heartbreak, that he almost didn't feel the removal of the instrument he clung to, or the warm arms that engulfed him, or the gentle voice that whispered into his ear. "Haz-"

Harry's viridescent eyes, rimmed red and filled with tears, snapped up at the sound, his breaths becoming harsher as his gaze met with the everlasting blue he fell asleep thinking about.

"I never knew." Louis breathed out, soft hands moving to cradle his cheeks, wiping away the growing locks that clung to his flushed face. "I never realised H. Why did you never say?"

Harry chuckled lowly, sniffling into the small space that rested between him and the older lad. "How could I? I couldn't just come out with it, just tell everyone- I couldn't tell _anyone_ Louis!" He bawled, vision blurring behind a prickling set of fresh tears, " _Especially_ you."

"Me?" The blue eyed lad croaked out, looking back at Harry with an agonising amount of hurt. "I would have listened H- I would have done everything I could to make things better."

Harry laughed loudly then, feeling the soft hands slip from his wet face as Louis pulled away, devastated.

"Everything?" Harry huffed out an chuckle, eyes stinging, throat burning. "Could you have ever loved me back?" He whispered, green gaze focused on the boy before him, not caring for the more problems his revelation would surely cause- he was too tired to care anymore.

Silence settled over the entire room, the only sound that could be heard were the rigid breaths that escaped them.

"It's about me?" Louis questioned, voice so faint Harry had to strain to hear it.

Harry let his eyes slip close, unable to will back his tears any other way, unable to look at Louis as he spoke, "Who else could it have been? Who else could I have fallen stupidly head over heels for?" He took a deep breath, it sharp and shaky, "It was always you, and that kills me. I'll never be enough, never be what you want, or need." He let his eyes flutter open then, green gaze peering out through dark, wet lashes at a teary eyed Louis kneeled before him, "But it's okay. I'll be okay."

"But-" Louis whispered, "But you can't."

Harry shook his head, breaking a little more at Louis' words, "I'm sorry." He choked out, "I really am so, so sorry."

Then Louis was shaking his head too, trembling hands moving to clasp his own. "Don't- please don't apologise." He spoke, tone timid, almost scared, "You have to let me say, what I need to say, okay?"

Harry's eyes flitted up from their entangled fingers to nod at the older boy, terrified of what was to come, so beyond confused.

"You were sixteen. Sixteen and so, so pure- so innocent." Louis started, Harry his only focus even though his voice was weak and breathless, "They, they pushed and pushed us all, especially you. I tried, I fought. I was the eldest- it was my job to protect you all." He took a much needed deep breath, grip tightening on Harry's hands, "She- she was an idea at the start, a way to gain popularity, to appeal to the girls, to the fans." Harry furrowed his brow perplexedly, listening intently. "She was supposed to be yours."

"Mine?"

Louis could only nod, Harry guessed that the look on his face could only have been incredulous as the boy jumped to continue. "It's hard to explain without all of the paperwork, but H, it's not real, it's never been real. They wanted you to have a long term girlfriend, show everyone how sweet and kind and caring you were, they wanted to paint you as the typical boy next door, someone everyone could fall for. You were so young H, and you had just told us, _told me_ , how you felt about girls, how confused you felt. I didn't want them pressuring you, I wanted you to be okay, to be able to grow and understand without thinking about everything else that comes with this life." A few stray tears had slipped whilst he spoke but Harry sat there unable to fathom the words he was speaking. "It's not real Haz. I just- I never realised you could have felt the same way."

"The same way?" Harry rasped after a brief pause, everything slowly sinking in.

Louis chuckled faintly as he pulled himself in nearer, closing the gap between them, "I fell for you a long time ago. How could I not have?"

Harry captured his bottom lip between his teeth, biting back the sob that pleaded with him to escape. He couldn't trust his voice so with the only ounce of confidence he had left he leaned in, feeling the way the lads hot breath fanned his face, letting his nose nudge against the older's for a moment, eyes unsure as he looked back and forth between the deep pools of blue.

A gasp escaped him as Louis' lips brushed his own, the softness of them lighting a fire deep within. He couldn't stop himself from pressing in further, letting his hands travel upwards to wind around the older boys neck, skin igniting as Louis' own settled on the curve of his waist. Everything finally falling into place.


End file.
